5th Wedding Anniversary

It's been five years since Steve and I got married. It's so crazy to think that five years have gone by. No longer in the honeymoon period, people say. Well, the butterflies of our first touch might be gone but I still can sit here staring at him and the feeling of an overwhelming love flows through me.

We spent the weekend at the Oregon Coast for our anniversary. Steve found a little boutique hotel right on the beach. After lunch at Mo's we went glass blowing. Then spent the evening watch movies and relaxing.

My Husband

I always know Steve is there to take care of me. I have a small case of social anxiety but Steve is always there to easy my stress. Steve always takes care of us at the airport, getting through security, keeping to a timed schedule, making sure I eat during the day. Steve takes care of me when I'm lost. Anytime I get lost driving I can call Steve and he will some how figure out where I'm at and how to get back on track. I don't know how he does it but he does. Steve also takes care of any returns we have. For example, on our Honeymoon we went to the Hawaiian Cultural Center and were placed into a group of people vacationing to tour the center but I didn't want to spend my day with other couples I wanted to spend it at my own pace with my husband. So Steve went and talked to the group leader, telling her we would be going on our own. Or just the other when I got some clothes from Forever 21 that I want to exchange and they had just changed their policy so Steve went and talked to the manager, getting me a gift card for the store in the end.

Thank you, Baby. I love you.

Our Child

We never know love like this. Steve and I have been given the privilege of raising Von Charles VI Barker. We never knew we could love like this. We never understood God's love for his son until we had a son of our own. How could God turn his back on his own son? To love us so much he could let his son die just seemed like a great jester to humanity. Now having Von we can only fathom the amount of love God has for us. There is nothing Steve and I wouldn't do for Von. It does not matter what he does in life, good or bad, we will be there for him. He could commit the greatest of sins and everyone else could abandon him but we will still be there to stand next to him and love him.

There is no other person I would want to raise a family with than Steve. It has been my honor to have his child. I see glimpses of Steve in Von, his independence and bravery. It's been fun to watch our son grow, to laugh together at the cute things Von does, and to share Von's little moments together. Steve and I are a team and I am grateful God gave him to me to be my partner in life.

Miscarriages

After learning of our first miscarriage we were devastated. Our hearts really hurt. At night we would lay in bed holding each other and crying. That same year we had another miscarriage. Instead of waiting until I have three to four miscarriages my doctor wanted to start testing. After my blood testing we found out I have MTHFR, basically my body does not metabolize proteins into acids. During pregnancy you need folic acid to help develop the bodies spine and brain. This puts me at rick for babies with spina bifisda or down syndrome. It also causes my blood to thicken too much putting me at rick for blood clots. So for the next pregnancy I was on blood thinners and a high dose of folic acid.

5 weeks after finding out I was pregnant again I started spotting. The ultrasound showed bleed behind the sac which is the beginning of a miscarriage, however, it was too early for a heart beat so I was to come in for another ultrasound in 10 days. That ultrasound showed a heart beat. We were still told not to get too excited because the bleeding had not stopped and the odds of me miscarring were high. Every week we went in for an ultrasound and there was still a heart beat. At 9 weeks the ultrasound showed no evidence of bleeding and a strong heart beat. Von Charles was born January 24th, 2007. He is our miracle baby.

We just recently had another miscarriage but no matter how many more miscarriages our future holds or any other obstacles we will face we have each other. It has been these experiences that have brought us closer together. I know I can lean on Steve and he will hold me up.

Our Wedding Day

One advise someone gave me when planning for our wedding was to enjoy the actually wedding day together as a newly married couple. Too many people are busy visiting with their family members that they don't spend the time together. Steve and I had a weekend wedding where we celebrated with our family and friends for several days before the actually wedding day. This allowed us to enjoy our wedding day together rather than trying to visit with our relatives. Our wedding seemed as if we were the only two people in the room. I remember seeing his standing there as I walked down the isle to him. I remember standing together arm in arm as the Pastor gave his message. I remember how happy I was when we were pronounce husband and wife. I remember enjoying our reception together. I do not remember what anyone else in the room was doing, I only remember Steve and I.

The Engagement

We were hoping to go to the beach but it was too rainy over at the coast so we took a walk at the Dallas City Park. Standing at the creek Steve began telling me how much he loved me and that God had been preparing us for each other long before we had met. I thought nothing of it since he had said these things several times before. When he turned me around he was on one knee. I thought it was a joke and was mad until he pulled out the ring.

Dating

Steve and I spent the majority of the waking day together when we were dating. Dating is defiantly it's own special time. You go above and beyond to do special things for each other. Steve would sent flowers, we would leave notes for each other, go on dates to dinner and the movies often.

Here are a few things we did when we were dating...
For our first Valentine's Day Steve bought me a red dress with black lace over it and took me to dinner at Joey's downtown where they were giving chocolate dipped strawberries to everyone.

For our 6 months together we went to the Creperie and out for a movie.

For my birthday Steve had candles lit all over his apartment. Each candle had a characteristic of me that he loved.

Steve sent a large bouquet of flowers to me in Oregon during the summer we were apart.

One day Steve brought in a single red rose to me on his way to work.

Some of the things we would do together were...
Walk the Edmonton Mall talking.

Go to Chapters, have a Starbucks coffee and then look at books for hours.

Do our homework at Second Cup.

Take long walks through the construction near my apartment.

We loved to go to Four Rooms on Saturdays when they have live Jazz music.